Temple Grandin

Recently, Life has been pretty good. I've been doing really well in school, at home, and at my internship. I've made a pretty definite break through with some of my friends. We've really gotten closer and I've needed that time to help me just relax. Friends are Sisters (and Brothers) that we chose for ourselves because God knew if we were related our Mother would not be able to control us ;) Ha! It's a great thing. Being able to just hang out with friends laughing at video clips of babies falling, Wipeout, and just laughing at the fact one of us fell asleep. Friends are an amazing treat. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the person I am today without them!

So this past week, children that have learning disabilities or even physical disabilities have been on my mind. They are so humbling, and interesting to watch how they interpret things. Temple Grandin is a woman who has Autism. She went to school, then graduated from College, and they made a movie about her achievement and how she got there. Of course they had actors playing her and the people she interacted with. But needless to say, it's so inspirational. I can see myself in her character. My teacher can relate because he didn't start to speak until he was 5. She's amazing! If you haven't seen that movie, you need to. Temple Grandin. It's her name, and its the title of the movie. It's good.

For now, that's all I got. Thank you. :j

Yours Truly,
Amanda Jeannette
Stay True, Stay You.

Oh Goodie!

These past few weeks have been interesting. I've made a new friend with someone that I thought was really quite intimidating, but really is as sweet as ever! I've rekindled a flame between a friend that I had thought I lost forever, and I got one of my friends back from leaving to California for 5 days.

I've made a new friend. She used to be someone who I didn't really talk to because she was intimidating to me. She's a dancer. Not in any way shape or form to the status-quo or stereotypical "Dancer". She's just an everyday, ordinarily amazing dancer. I've recently started talking to her. I see her a lot at my school and all I think is "I should probably say Hi so its not weird." and you know other things like that. What else would you think walking down the hallway and there's only one other person? But luckily that's never really happened. I've run into her at basketball games. assemblies, and I've just gotten sick of being the girl she sees; She knows who she is and that she never says hello to her ever. Its sad really.
SO!
I did. I apologized for it and now we're talking more then we did EVER! She's is an INCREDIBLE human being. She has a voice that I've never heard before. Not like singing. Hey! Maybe she can sing too! Who knows? I don't know that yet. But, I mean the way that she thinks. The way that she expresses things to me and has shown me how to be a better person, a better friend. It's amazing. :)

One of my other good friends took me home after school and it was like 20 questions to Amanda's house. She's great. Her name is Teressa. Not like Mother Ter-REE-Suh. It's like Ter-EH-Suh. yeah anyways. that was probably an epic fail on my part. But she's a really good friend of mine. She and I are going to be roomies when Choir Tour comes around. That's just how things are going to go around. She's been the whole reason why I survive my even days. My even days at school are difficult. Odd days are easy for me.

I'm so glad that I've gotten closer with my friends. Through out this hard time with my sister being sick, and my mom being stressed; I've really needed someone to talk to. That's where one of my closest friends has come along. She's a bit younger then me but I can't remember that. I NEVER remember how old she is. I only remember her birthday. Isn't that how it's supposed to be though? Your friends with someone because of the things you have in common, your likes and dislikes, your agreeing to disagree. Not because they are the same age as you. That's pish posh.

So yeah. I've had a good friend week. I also got to see my big sis Jenna. She hasn't been around much because of school and the fact she has a life but that's okay. It makes for the moments we do see each other all the more special. :)

Yours Truly,
Amanda Jeannette
Stay True, Stay You
:)

Like Breathing from Pasek and Paul

You start off with a question. (Do I really want to see?)

You wonder and you doubt. (Do I really want to know?)

You know there's something greater. (Do I want to grow?)

But you can't figure out which road you take to get there..

Or where this "there" might be. But your ready to discover

Cause You really want to see. You open up your eyes, study and review what you do.

You force yourself to grow.

-Let that go-

Let it be like breathing. It could be like Breathing.

Let it be like Breathing.

Take away the questions. Cover up my eyes. Help me notice beauty.

Let denim colored skies, shower me with sunlight. Let warm fall down like rain.

Render me unable, to pasently explain. I want to search for words and not know what to say.

That's okay.

I don't need to know.

-Let that go-

Let it be like breathing. It could be like Breathing.

Let it be like Breathing.

Let go of feeling you are anything but beautiful.

Let go of thinking you can't do this on your own.

Let go of being scared that you might be not good enough.

Let go of saying you weren't meant to be loved.



I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. To be, who I am. Who I want to become!



Thanks for reading.

The Days I Hope Never Come

Today's post will be mostly about and for my sister.

As many of you don't know(or do), My sister has Lupus. Its a rare form of Cancer. Statistics say that- anywhere from 1.5 - 5 million Americans are conflicted with Lupus (Or a different form of it.) 90% of all of those people are Women. Lupus is 2 to 3 times more prevalent in women of color than white women. 5% of the children born to those with Lupus will develop the illness. It is also believed that between 10-15% of people with lupus will die prematurely due to complications of lupus.

My sister Nathalie is engaged to her fiance James. They plan on getting married this May. I couldn't be happier for them! My sister is an amazing person. She's truly marrying her best friend.

But recently, she was diagnosed with Lupus. For those of you who haven't already tried to Google it and read some about it, Nathalie has the form where its basically an Auto-immune System Failure. In dummy words, her immune system is working against her. Her body is fighting against the good cells and nutrients she needs, and keeping the bad ones. This causes that the major joints in the body (Ankles, Knees, Wrists, Shoulders, Hips, and a few of the smaller ones; knuckles, the tendons and ligaments in her feet.) to become inflamed and it causes her a lot of pain.

It made me so sad to hear the news one morning before school that "Hey, I just want you to know that your sister's being sick is because she has Cancer." I cried the better half of the day until I had no tears left and I didn't care to really talk to anyone. I just put my ear phones in and shut out the world for a day. I pretended like I didn't know just yet, but I knew that she would tell me eventually.

We had the talk. The "Why Me" talk. It was frightening to hear the thoughts that rushed through her head because of this illness. The fact that she asked me "Why can't I be normal?" broke my heart! How am I supposed to answer that question? All I could think of was "Heavenly Father has a specific plan for you." Later she asked me Why He thought to give her this trial. I thought to myself that 'it's because he knew that you could do it. He knew and had faith in the strength I see everyday.'

When we first sat down to talk about what she feels, it was hard. Really hard. How would you like to sit next to someone who is crying, in so much pain they can't put it to a scale, and just sit there. Not being able to take that pain away. Not knowing how to make them feel better. It's a TERRIBLE feeling. Absolutely terrible. I felt useless. BUT! I am currently taking physiology and anatomy at school. This class has helped me learn all the muscles and bones of the human body along with their functions and what they help do. SO! Along with that awesome class, I'm doing an Internship this semester as a Student Trainer. I get to help the school athletes slowly and progressively get better, and if they don't know whats wrong I help them figure it out. I get to watch the head trainer (Donny Bills -- Best man I know. He's amazing.) show me what is going on and how to treat it. So I get to learn about the body and how to help strengthen, protect, prevent, etc.

Now, with that being said, I can use what I've been learning on my sister. When she says her back hurts I know that its the Lumbar region. When she says her hands hurt I can tell her exactly which joint is causing the problem and what to do to prevent more pain.

I hope, the day never comes that I have to witness my sister in a hospital bed. Or watch her hair fall out from the chemotherapy. I never want to see my sister cry because she can't take the pain and is just letting it take over. I've seen my sister cry before about this, but I hope those days Never Ever come.

I live for the nights that my sister and I just sit next to each other, talk about our days, and enjoy each others company. I live for the moments when I have to help her stand up, or fetch her something that she can't physically. If there is anything I can do to help ease the load. I will.

It's for this reason that I want to be an athletic trainer. It's because of that feeling I get when I am able to help someone feel better and they let me know that I've done that. It's the greatest feeling in the world. But when I can't do anything to help them. There is absolutely NOTHING I can do to make them feel better. That. That moment. Is when I feel pretty useless.

So, ... yeah. I have a million and one thoughts running through my mind every day since I found out. Then i figured.. I'm probably not the only one whose having a hard time. So I've decided to put others first. Nathalie of course being my one and only real thought but at school and in the training room, I'm there to help others.

I love my sister Nathalie.

Hey There! I have words for you!!

Hey! Been a while, at least for me in my mind it has. Probably has but Im to lazy to check when the last post was and then come back and start this post over, or even save it as a draft and then try and find it. I'm still new to this whole thing.. Anywhooooo! :)

Today after babysitting the cutest babies ever, I ran over to mutual real quick (In the rain mind you, and rolling my ankle in a ninja hole in the ground) To find my very best friend because Wednesdays are the ONLY day we have besides Sundays to see each other and catch up. But! (if you buy 3 complatos es only 3 dollars .. BUT! --tangent.. sorry)
Because I recently got sick and lost my voice I could not go to church this past Sunday. AND because I was going to miss mutual I decided to ditch the free ride home in a nice dry car and run to the church for my friend. For my friend she had no clue. :) It was a good surprise!!

We decided to walk home in the rain from church. To which our YW President caught us half way across Geneva road almost soaked from the rain, ha.. talk about awkward. That's just life for you. So yeah...

We talked and talked and walked to my house to which we stood outside in the cover of my garage roof for nearly an hour. We talked and towards the end things got personal. She said some things I had never, heard her say before. Things I wouldn't have ever THOUGHT that she thought of. If that makes sense. But.. as I gave her one final hug before I sent her on her way, she cried. In the embrace. Face in my shoulder, just sobbing.. and me being.. Drugged up as I am, and shivering that I was, I said. "I'm sorry.... and not because I have to say it because your crying but... because I really am.".

Has anyone EVER told you that, your worth so much more then you think. You are stronger then you believe. You have the power to change someone's daily life for the better or worse. Hopefully, you are trying to make their daily lives better but, I'm not one to judge you, when I walk imperfectly.

I just want to say, to whoever chooses to actually read this whole thing,.. Thank You. Thanks for being willing to not just skim through the paragraphs. I know my writing can be pretty spastic and all over, but that's the outcome of an ADD, tired, sick person who happens to have a blog. :)

I love you, which ever friend you are. Your amazing, there's a reason why I chose to get to know you. You have a certain quality about you that I rarely find in others around me. ;) Your an amazing being whose path of life has crossed over and intertwined in mine at specific points in our own separate lives. :) I love you!

Yours Truly,
Amanda Jeannette.
Stay True, Stay You.