Title just came from me think about Elvis Presley and the Little Mermaid at the same time. This is what occurs when you leave someone alone to watch little mermaid on Broadway and then lilo and stitch.
Life has a funny way to tickle you all over.
It gives you light, and joys, of shapes and sizes.
Giving you chance after chance
Hand over hand over hand shoving you forward.
Reminding you that you aren't of worth, and things,
Things, are more important then you. But it has a funny
way to ask forgiveness. Names less strangers who have
now become your friend. Even acquaintances.
They are sent to help the hands that hang down.
They are sent in place of Life's forward motion,
To move with us and to help us learn how to grow
Through experience. Chances are, you may be alone.
But never alone will you be with friends, because
there is nothing more constant then change.
This week, has been something else. I like to say "something else" in place of .. Intersting, boring, weird, not what i expected. Because i can already assume it had to be something related to that. Things have fallen out of place. They've been shifted down and to the left like a negative coordination in math class. Family ties are slowing growing and family health is slowly dissipating.
My mother carries my family on her shoulders and i feel worthless because i can't help her. She has to read the letters that say, more or less, "Hello we'd like to sue you for 3,000 dollars due to us by Friday. Oh! You probably won't have your electricity next week. Have a nice day!"
My sister is sick, and I can't afford to get sick. Because her immune system is working against her. Always, always, ALWAYS!! .. making things worse. But we still have our days together. For the better half we spend telling each other as many stories as we can. Memories fill the air like the smell of my mothers cooking. We talk of our embarrasing moments in elementary, when we peed our pants, refusing to pee during recess and throwing up in mid step. Moments like those will soon become a part of past and become a simple day dream to me. A moment where I wish, oh man how I WISH I could have just switched places with her.
I find myself at times, not eating just to save money and the cost of things. Who knew that we could manage to eat so much in so little a time... sometimes I'd go 2..3 days without eating more then 4 meals. But thats okay with me if that's means that My mom and my sister can eat.
But today have been a highlight. a flicker in my life. a spark in the creation of my life (children of eden, still love that music.) Today could not have gone better. And to help that, Tomorrow Vocal Point is coming to substitute our class. Great? Isn't it? i think so.. So i thank life for sending me my name less strangers now called by the world Friends. Reminding me of how great full i need to be. so yeah. :j ... today was a pretty awesome day. i liked it. i liked it a lot.
Yours Truly,
Amanda Jeannette
Stay True, Stay you.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Information Man - Buddy Wakefield (edited)
I love this. Here you go.
After over three hundred thousand miles,
twelve dozen breakdowns nervous,
a bunch of broken laws
and one too many midnights later,
I have come here from out of the rain
and into this rest area
caught twenty-two miles between you and me,
watching the Information Man
behind his information booth
juggling predictable conversation
with folks who look like iceburg lettuce
and who believe that somehow
the flat lines of small talk will give us life.
I want them to leave,
like a big deal orchestra removing itself from the stringed section
so I can fiddle with fate and make music.
There is a distance the size of bravery.
It forms like words in the mouth of a baby
reaching out for the point where all things meet.
On one end of it sits an Information Man
who I imagine holds down his second job as church bartender
behind locked doors leading to the bell tower
we are not allowed to see. (Sinners.)
On the other end of this space
I am standing like shoe polish on an overstocked shelf
hoping that one day someone will pick me to make things better.
This is not a showdown or a shootout.
We are not facing off.
But I can feel the rumble between dusk and dawn
as if the chance to come clean with myself
will be outlawed
unless I relax.
I have heard
that if your pull a bent breath
through the second hole of a harmonica
tuned to the key of Georgia
while a train moves by
on the tail end of dusk
there is a good chance
you will finally know
what it means
to rest.
I
have not yet rested.
It takes a long time to make love
with someone who hates themselves.
It feels like Ive been standing here
for exactly that long when, at last,
the rain outside drops off
and takes everyone in the rest area with it
except for me, and the Information Man.
If we were created in Gods image
then when God was a child
He smushed fire ants with His finger tips
and avoided tough questions.
There are ways around being the go-to person,
even for ourselves,
but tonight Im going to get the answer
and you know what Im talking about,
THE answer.
So I put my best foot forward
and take the kind of deep breath
that gives me away
as someone who deals with anxiety
and odd numbers
every other
other every minute.
In between it,
the Information Mans eyes grab me
then shift
back and forth,
like mopping floors
with the sweat I sweat
in battles against myself.
Hes got me locked in and is smiling.
If you've never been rocked back by the presence of purpose
this poem is too soon for you.
Return to your mediocrity
plug it into an amplifier
and re-think yourself
because some of us are on fire for the answer.
I am ready for your rejection
and rebirthing balance in my stutter steps
when the info guy finally pipes up
like C.R. Avery on a piano box
and says:
"Listen,
if I didn't have so much of this life all wrong" he says
"I would have gotten it right by now.
I talk a whole bunch
but I really only know a few things,
so Im not saying follow along verbatim here.
Ill just tell you the things I tell myself—
the things I know—
and you can see what sticks
I know our shoes were stitched from songs about highways.
The best songs are the ones about Georgia
even though Ive never been there,
its the only place I still believe in Jesus.
I know that no matter what it is you believe in,
you've got to spare yourself the futility of making fun of God
because that guy hasn't even talked in like
ever.
I know troubleshooting yourself in the foot
and acting as center of your own universe
is a tricky dichotomy to deal with
but, yes, you ARE the center of the universe.
If you weren't
you wouldn't be here.
So as the middle of space and everything floating in it
it is your job to know
that the emptiness
is just emptiness,
that the stars
are stars,
and that the flying rocks
really hurt,
so please
stop inviting walls into wide open spaces.
I know everything is out there.
Its why they call it everything.
I know there are times
when you will lay your head to rest
and have a moment of brilliance
that grows into a perfect order of words
but you will fall asleep
instead of painting it down on paper.
When you wake up,
you will have forgotten the idea completely
and miss it like a front tooth
but at least you know how to recognize moments of brilliance,
because even at your worst
you are still incredible.
So return to yourself,
even if you're already there,
because no matter where you go,
or how hard you try,
or what you do,
the only person you're ever gonna get to be
and I know it, thank God,
is you.
Its awesome. I love this one. I bolded the lines I like the most. Just because, that's how I roll. :j so yeah. I hope you liked it.
After over three hundred thousand miles,
twelve dozen breakdowns nervous,
a bunch of broken laws
and one too many midnights later,
I have come here from out of the rain
and into this rest area
caught twenty-two miles between you and me,
watching the Information Man
behind his information booth
juggling predictable conversation
with folks who look like iceburg lettuce
and who believe that somehow
the flat lines of small talk will give us life.
I want them to leave,
like a big deal orchestra removing itself from the stringed section
so I can fiddle with fate and make music.
There is a distance the size of bravery.
It forms like words in the mouth of a baby
reaching out for the point where all things meet.
On one end of it sits an Information Man
who I imagine holds down his second job as church bartender
behind locked doors leading to the bell tower
we are not allowed to see. (Sinners.)
On the other end of this space
I am standing like shoe polish on an overstocked shelf
hoping that one day someone will pick me to make things better.
This is not a showdown or a shootout.
We are not facing off.
But I can feel the rumble between dusk and dawn
as if the chance to come clean with myself
will be outlawed
unless I relax.
I have heard
that if your pull a bent breath
through the second hole of a harmonica
tuned to the key of Georgia
while a train moves by
on the tail end of dusk
there is a good chance
you will finally know
what it means
to rest.
I
have not yet rested.
It takes a long time to make love
with someone who hates themselves.
It feels like Ive been standing here
for exactly that long when, at last,
the rain outside drops off
and takes everyone in the rest area with it
except for me, and the Information Man.
If we were created in Gods image
then when God was a child
He smushed fire ants with His finger tips
and avoided tough questions.
There are ways around being the go-to person,
even for ourselves,
but tonight Im going to get the answer
and you know what Im talking about,
THE answer.
So I put my best foot forward
and take the kind of deep breath
that gives me away
as someone who deals with anxiety
and odd numbers
every other
other every minute.
In between it,
the Information Mans eyes grab me
then shift
back and forth,
like mopping floors
with the sweat I sweat
in battles against myself.
Hes got me locked in and is smiling.
If you've never been rocked back by the presence of purpose
this poem is too soon for you.
Return to your mediocrity
plug it into an amplifier
and re-think yourself
because some of us are on fire for the answer.
I am ready for your rejection
and rebirthing balance in my stutter steps
when the info guy finally pipes up
like C.R. Avery on a piano box
and says:
"Listen,
if I didn't have so much of this life all wrong" he says
"I would have gotten it right by now.
I talk a whole bunch
but I really only know a few things,
so Im not saying follow along verbatim here.
Ill just tell you the things I tell myself—
the things I know—
and you can see what sticks
I know our shoes were stitched from songs about highways.
The best songs are the ones about Georgia
even though Ive never been there,
its the only place I still believe in Jesus.
I know that no matter what it is you believe in,
you've got to spare yourself the futility of making fun of God
because that guy hasn't even talked in like
ever.
I know troubleshooting yourself in the foot
and acting as center of your own universe
is a tricky dichotomy to deal with
but, yes, you ARE the center of the universe.
If you weren't
you wouldn't be here.
So as the middle of space and everything floating in it
it is your job to know
that the emptiness
is just emptiness,
that the stars
are stars,
and that the flying rocks
really hurt,
so please
stop inviting walls into wide open spaces.
I know everything is out there.
Its why they call it everything.
I know there are times
when you will lay your head to rest
and have a moment of brilliance
that grows into a perfect order of words
but you will fall asleep
instead of painting it down on paper.
When you wake up,
you will have forgotten the idea completely
and miss it like a front tooth
but at least you know how to recognize moments of brilliance,
because even at your worst
you are still incredible.
So return to yourself,
even if you're already there,
because no matter where you go,
or how hard you try,
or what you do,
the only person you're ever gonna get to be
and I know it, thank God,
is you.
Its awesome. I love this one. I bolded the lines I like the most. Just because, that's how I roll. :j so yeah. I hope you liked it.
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